Hell Town

1/5 right hind lameness. Clean stifle x-rays. It's getting better. Kelly is helping a lot.

Am I ready to go back to school? Am I ready to have my horse on basically no turn out? Am I ready to deal with drama? Am I ready to argue for my horse's care. Am I ready to take a dressage class with a trainer I don't trust just quite yet? Am I ready to go back to that place? No. Will I ever be? No.

Duncan does so well here. He's out in a herd. He's doing awesome. When I go back to Houghton everything is going to suck again. And don't say it won't... because it will. With the whole 4 hours of of turnout Duncan gets, his muscles and his mind are shot. With the tiny indoor that I barley get to ride him in his fitness sucks. With all the opinions constantly being thrown at me my confidence and ability to ride my way is gone. With a bunch of people constantly starting drama and causing chaos the relaxation of the barn is gone. With the constantly differing views between me and my peers and I, I see new levels of frustration. With a chore crew incompetent to feed or follow any directions my horse's diet is... well never going to happen. Am I ready? NO.

I hate this place. I love the people, but I hate this barn. It's not because it's a bad barn, it's because I do things much differently. What they do is not wrong, it's just not what I would want to do. I hate all of the things listed above. About 0% of me wants to go back. But what else can I do? Nothing. Suffer? No, make the best out of an awful situation. Here we go. Back to hell.