Hope

On Friday I took some of my senior pictures with Duncan! It was really fun, and he was a very good sport. At one point we needed him to look up and he wouldn't, so my friend Meghan went in a bush and shook it and spun branches around until he would put his head up. I think I've done well desensitizing him; he barley cared about the moving tree at first.
The next day I went out to ride him. The barn was packed, and there were lessons, people riding, people giving their horses baths, and little kids running around. Duncan was pretty easily distracted, but I was able to ride him, and we did some exploring. His favorite thing by far. We have our first lesson Monday! This should be interesting.

Realizations

I realized today that there is a big difference between being realistic and just being negative. You can think about worst case scenario, but you still have to let yourself be happy. You can't just be consumed by the bad stuff all the time.

With Duncan there will be bad times. There will be days I want to quit. But it always gets better. I allow myself to always go to worse case scenario; I will never have fun with him, he will never be not spooky, this is so hopeless. I do have fun when I have good rides, there are times when I bring him in and he doesn't spook, and I am doing it. Right here, right now, I go everyday and work him, and I can handle him. It almost felt like I couldn't allow myself to be happy because I was always worried about if Duncan would calm down enough that I could do it. Well I am doing it, slowly, but surely. It will come. 

Expectations

Expectations are never a good thing to have, especially with a baby horse. When I expect him to be good, or expect to get on him, or whatever it never seems to go well. It is days like today when I don't want him.

Surgery and The After Effects

So he had the surgery to remove the foreign body in his shoulder. It went well, we had to do an ultra sound to find the tiny piece of wood that was in him. We eventually got it, but he was not very happy. It is all stitched up and healing! He is already not as off and feeling good.

Yesterday I brought him in and tacked him up and lunged him and he was awesome! I was lunging him thinking, "life is good." I have senior priv and get out everyday at 12, can do all me homework, go to the gym, and then see my horse. Then it went bad... the mounting block is not our friend....

Good and Bad

We have good days and bad days. Yesterday and today have been bad days. Hoping things get better soon. It always feels like it never will when things aren't going well, but then when they're going well, they are going great. Idk...

The Horse I Know

Today was a reminder of the horse I know. He did really well in the arena and I had actually put tack on him. I was about to get on him when a new horse pulled up and was making a lot of noise. He lost it and freaked out. I put him back on the lunge and walked and did a lot of halt transitions but he was just not focused. I eventually got him to do one good one and then decided to end on a positive note. It was annoying and a little scary when he freaked out. I think he needed to run but I couldn't let him because of his leg. I was stuck for a minute and then thought go back to what he knows. He knows halt walk transitions and we have used it to gain his focus. We did lots of them with the wall until he could do it without it. It calmed him down enough so that I could actually lead him and he wouldn't trample me. I think his little brain is overwhelmed with the new barn, leg wraps, meds, tar on his shoulder, not having as much room to run around, and missing his old friends. He needs more time for a transition and I was rushing it. Will stick to tack and lunging until he feels 100% ready.