Bad day with Duncan today, which is really a bummer, because he's been doing so well lately. I was ready to trot on him. But I went out to the paddock to get him and he wouldn't let me get near him, like not even touch him or give him a treat. It's been like this ever since he went out in the back field. He's been so dumb. So frustrating!
It's also hard to train him... There always seems to be something that comes up and she can't make it, or I can't, or there is no ring time. Complications!
I guess things in my life have just been bad lately, and having Duncan hasn't helped. Duncan is so stressful, and not fun to work, I don't really enjoy him. I'm also mad that I'm too scared of him and can't train him myself, and have to rely on other people so much. And now I suck at riding. I haven't ridden well trained horses in so long, I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm timid around horses I used to be able to ride, and my seat is just bad. School work is getting so hard, and finals are coming up, and all kinds of end of the year tests and such. God doesn't seem to be here like He promised He would. Everything in my life is out of control, and God isn't helping. He is supposed to, but He isn't. So what do I do? Fill my time with horses. And what does that do? Nothing good.
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