Frustration. That is about where I'm at right now. Mega frustrated. I can't ride. I suck, and I don't know why, or how to fix it. I have gotten so much worse in a year and you can not even believe how much that aggravates me. Mad beyond belief.
Duncan is good though (thank God I'm not the one training him). He's getting better under saddle. He's pretty chill, but I just need to trust him, which will hopefully come with time. It's a slow process, but we're miles from where we were.
I guess I just don't know where to go from here. I'm so mad at myself.

Good and Bad

Wow Duncan has just like transformed! My crazy horse that I wanted to sell because I couldn't handle him has turned into the horse of my dreams. Literally he has everything I want in a horse. Emma got on him yesterday, and he was great! A little worried, but walked around and did fine. I've been lunging him, he cross ties, kind of getting on him. He's so amazing! I mean I still get nervous about him, but I'm learning to trust him more. I need to be more open to him. I will need to see him never spook before I trust him, but he is a horse.
I went to Breezy with Emma and saw her trainer riding. It really confirmed what I've been learning lately. Warm up long and low, do minimal amounts of collection, and do long and low again. Baby horses need to stretch. Basic training scale.
For my riding I've been in kind of a funk lately. I'm riding with a few different people (Robyn and Cassi) and they both have totally different things to offer. With Robyn I'm riding her green horse, training it. Which is what I'm used to. With Cassi I'm riding a second school master, which I'm not used to. Both needed, one not really understood just yet. I need to start doing yoga to loosen up, since I don't get to ride that much anymore.

Making Progress

Duncan is getting so much better! After we got over the whole don't you put a halter on me thing everything seems to be going really well! He now accepts a saddle, lunges, and is becoming calmer and calmer. He needs to get out and see more situations, but that will come with time. I'm glad he is more trusting of me now though, it makes everything so much easier. He is actually kind of fun to work with now. I can't wait till we sit on him!